I've been married nearly 18 years.  My contract ended at where I worked (there 5 years!).  Because I was in IT at a fortune 50 company so long, and many other factors I have NOT been able to replace the job...so I've been making a go at my second career..paralegal.  IT is still my passion and still get some of that in.  However, my income is a third of what it was. Not that my husband cares....

So...a couple of months ago my husband asks me to come home from work early.  So I did.  I fixed his computer (of course) and then he said "oh by the way I've been sleeping with ...so in so..." Like he was proud of it!  All these years I supported his travel (salesman) and hobby (scuba) both of which kept him from home alot.  I took care of the home, pets, etc. nearly single handedly.  Realizing that many of the years of our marriage while scuba diving and spending LOTS of money he was sleeping around.  The last one he's so proud of is a diver too!

I've fallen into a deep depression. I am seeing a doctor for the first time in my life.  I realize now I was had!  I can't support myself, home or pets on what I make.  I'm real homebody.  Very old fashioned...my house of nearly 18 years means the world to me even though it isn't much. It won't sell in this economy and we (now I) have 6 pets which are my world. My soon to be ex-husband REFUSED to have children (now it's unlikely I can)..so the pets are my kids.  I have no where to go. I feel like if I lose them or my house I'll die. I have a family history of suicide..so yes I'm smart enough to see a doctor..but it doesn't seem to help.

I've been humilated and used.  I loved him and trusted him all those years.  He's sleeping around..I'm sleeping alone and barely able to get out of bed.  He makes more than 3x what I make and he's trying to stick me with most of the debt and no health insurance which means I can't get help anymore.

Everyone says I'm a great person and have lots of kids who love me...just not mine! I'm intelligent and street smart...how could I let this happen?!  How can he be so cold?  He keeps threatening me to settle quick..I know this means bankruptsy and me and 6 pets living in my car!  I have a great lawyer (I work for him so thankfully I have no attorney's fees) but the fact is there is only so much money to go around and I can't make house payments...but the thought of losing my home has devastated me!  It won't sell so I'll be bankrupt..my husband knows that (that's why he's acting like he's being generous giving it to me..I'm NOT that stupid).

I have no one that can help me.  I can't describe the crushing depression. I need additional work and a kind person with money to invest to save my home. I won't hold my breath..but I am praying. Miracles happen..I don't have much time..hopefully they happen fast! At any rate, thanks for reading this.  Getting it off my chest helps.